Overview

Ima happy slutty Elf, an Ima nat ashamed ta say so. Santa found me humpin Rudolf, back in dam days, so work was hard ta come by, especially in dam Reindeer Stables.
I wana ta be an archeologists for as far back as I cud remember an I was willin ta do anyffin ta get dat degree. I wuda volunteer ta do anyffin an go anywhere just ta get experience in proper excavatin. I meant sittin for hours in da hot sun an usin da tablespoons ta dig at da earff. Dan if we found anyffin, lika lital piece of flint, it meant brushin it wiff a tiny paintbrush for 'bout ffirty minutes an dan we would catalog it an numba it at ta what grid we had found it.
ReadAr Advisory
Dear readars, dis Christmas stary is meant ta be read by adults eighteen years or oler. Da stary deals exclusively wiff gay elves havin sex, so if da potential readar finds homosexuality offensive, dan dis is nat a stary for you. While da tawns an places and elves are real all of da characters are strictly fictional an are nat meant ta portray anyone livin or dead in da Pole or woteva. An tis ritten in da Elf languages. So do da bigass spellars, don judge.